As soon as we start talking about making meaningful progress in the fight for more equality and equity, we will inevitably talk about the importance of allyship in forwarding those agendas. But what does effective allyship mean in practice? I am sure there are many well-articulated definitions of allyship out there that you can read and that are more succinct than mine. When I was reflecting on what it means to be an effective LGBTQ+ ally, I asked my friends that question too (they are usually wiser than me) and one of the conversations that resonated with me was that allyship is first of all about being a compassionate human being.
We are all different, we all have our quirks and flaws – those differences can lead to tensions, or they can become strengths. As allies we welcome these differences, create and support inclusive and safe spaces where people are welcomed and celebrated regardless of their background or sexuality.
My first experience of being an ally – without realising or reflecting on it at the time – was at school when my best friend came out to me at a time when nobody in our school was out and being openly gay was not an option for my friend in fear of the stigma that would come with it. Like any good friend, I was just there and listened but (without realising it at the time) created a safe space where my friend could be themself and feel validated. That was decades ago and of course lots has changed since then but it’s important to remember that even in 2021 not everyone feels safe or empowered to be open about their sexuality or they may be out in one context, e.g. with their friends or at uni, but not in another, e.g. their family/at home, and we need to be mindful and supportive of that.
I have learned and reflected a lot since then and am still learning. Getting involved with the Students’ Union during my studies really broadened my circle of friends and discussions about LGBTQ+ rights and the community’s lived experiences and challenges. I learn(ed) from the personal stories of my friends and my students - listening to them always helps me to think about what (else) I could be doing to be an effective ally.
Most of us now have their pronouns in their email signature but how many of us actively ask to include pronouns in introductions at the start of tutorials, meetings, workshops, or conference presentations? It’s a small thing but it can make a big difference to the person in the room who doesn’t identify with a certain gender, and it also shows our colleagues and students that these things matter, and we are creating an inclusive space. (If you want to find out more or a colourful pin badge, have a look at Think2Speak.) And this may make the difference to a student or colleague feeling they can open up to us outside of that setting too. We have various policies in place to support LGBTQ+ staff and students but how many of us know about or have read the Transitioning policy (staff and students) or the leave arrangements for adoption?
I am by no means the perfect ally; I have got things wrong in the past and can do so many more things. But I care and I want to learn and that’s usually a good starting point and we all need to start somewhere. We need to act with compassion and challenge homophobia and transphobia when we see it. Allyship can take many different forms - don’t be afraid of getting things wrong, just ask, and be curious and open-minded.
And if you are stuck or don’t know where to begin, we are lucky to have a brilliant LGBTQ+ community (staff network) that hosts a range of events and welcomes allies to get involved.
Tania Struetzel (She/Her)
Student Engagement Manager
